Wednesday, September 23, 2009

"When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next."

"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body?"

Dear God,

You know what people don't talk enough about these days. Their political opinions. Here's one.

Something I hate: raw food. People who like raw food are the type of people ruining America. If God wanted you to eat raw things, he wouldn't have invented cooking.

Eating a little bit of grass is understandable. It helps my digestive system. But I'm pretty sure kibble is cooked.

I don't know what johnboy5355's "green juice" refers to, but I'm pretty sure he's not Christian. And it seems like he's really into raw food from his profile.


God, I know you have a plan for us, and I trust in your name, but feel free to sweep away the evil from this Earth already, for God's sake.

Amen

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"Let him call for the elders of the church; and the prayer of faith shall save him."

"I will sweep away both people and animals alike."

Dear God,

I really don't know about this.

I'm offended by the dirty language in the title. I'm offended by their portrayal of Arabs as camels. And I'm definitely offended that for a movie called "Cat Shit One," soon to be repackaged as "Apocalypse Meow" for its American viewers, the majority of the characters aren't even cats;


they're rabbits.



I like this turn in the film industry toward less stereotypical roles for cats, but I'm also fairly sure that this is not Christian. I review this movie in your name, Lord Jesus.

Amen

Sunday, September 20, 2009

"Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things."

"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

Dear God,

I've been thinking a lot about death panels these days, and I'm still not sure if I'm pro or con. If we are to imitate you in every way, Lord, I don't see why we can't decide who lives and who dies based on a physical and a close inspection of the good book.


That's what confuses me the most. Suddenly the republicans are all up in arms about death panels. That seems right up our alley to me.

I have a lot of questions about our national plan for health insurance, and people keep putting them down just because I'm a cat. I guess I have a lot of questions about health in general. I've been looking at this chart:


And I have no idea what a 'Buccal cavity' is. I don't think You would have made such a thing, Lord. I guess ultimately what we should realize is that we are perfect because you made us that way and we don't need health insurance because I don't want to go to the vet, especially if there are going to be poor people there.

Amen