Beelzebub

Dear God,

I went to check out "The Gospel According to St. Matthew" at the library, but it was already checked out, so I got Peter Brook's "The Lord of the Flies" instead.

I don't know how I feel about all those naked boys. I mean, I'm a cat. But if I were on a deserted island with a bunch of other naked-boy-cats, I would certainly want the RULES to be enforced. None of this reverting to the primal state. All that homoeroticism. Just taking off their clothes and meowing around. Savagery.

I just found out this cat I've been seeing at the door sometimes is actually a tomcat. Obviously, I would never have relations before marriage. But think about how close I was to getting AIDS. (Pretty close.)

Oh God. Does this mean I'm bi? ...I mean, we cleaned each other once or twice, but that was it.

I will always serve you in your glory.

Amen