"lest I come and smite the earth with a curse"

Dear God,

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. After all that partying on Sunday, I was a little hungover.

My imaginary duck friends came over for tea. Me being a cat, I don't really have any friends besides my gay owners and you, God. So it's usually nice when they come over. But this particular occasion went sour. It went something like this:

Indeed, Mr. Duck. I too have always had
a distinct curiosity for Mormonism.

I mean, the story just can't end there.

"Well, I've always been a little curious
about Scientology, myself."

Excuse me, I believe I've lost my
appetite for tea. Good day to you.

Next time, instead of brunch, I'll have to have them over for a baptism.

Then I went and partied all day in the name of the Lord.

Amen