When I was looking through some of my owners' old stuff, I found these pictures of other pets that have been in their life. And I don't like them. For example, take this excuse for a "cat":
1. SAPPHO
This is my mommy's old daughter from back when she was living with Aunt Diana. Sappho is obviously a homosexual.
I think I might be a little more accepting of that if she weren't also short-haired. I'm not a racist or anything. I'm just saying, her coat isn't particularly fluffy, and it makes her look even more like a lesbian.
Jessica's, I mean mommy's, other old pet:
2. ROXY
IS A DOG. I don't even know what to say to that. It just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up. And then I extend my claws. And then I start to hiss.
Last, but not least, is my daddies' old cat from when they were living with Aunt Claire and Aunt Vicky:
3. COPERNICUS
He's okay. Look at him praying. A man after my own faith.
May you strike down the wicked, and raise up your chosen ones to the height of the Lord. And may you name me 'God's Best Cat.' In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen
She will cut you Buster. She. will. cut. you.
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