Dear God,
On the anniversary of the day You came down from Heaven to live as a baby-version of Yourself, my owners went to Gomorrah. I mean, Atlantic City.
They left me stranded--on Christmas day at home with two dinners which I promptly ate all at once and went into the patch of sun under the table until I decided to climb up to the bed with the heating blanket which I've learned to activate by falling on top of the on-switch--taking two of their homosexual friends to stay at the Tropicana with the rest of your fallen ones, where they met the face of Beelzebub herself:
They're bringing sin into my household.
As usual, in your name Jesus Christ I pray for you to lick me clean of this evil,
Amen
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
"And when they had sung an hymn, they went out into the mount of Olives."
Dear God,
I'm just starting to realize how much I like Nico.
She sounds vaguely foreign, the way I imagine angels sound, since they're from Heaven, and they don't have a normal American accent. Plus, I don't really speak English that well, seeing as I'm a cat and all, so I can just enjoy the music without picking up all the intricacies of the lyrics.
That said, from what I can tell, it's pretty Christian. "Somewhere there's a feather" is obviously about angels. "You need not know the reason why," because it's God.
And "I Keep It with Mine," is obviously about Nico offering to keep my bible with her bible. In the same drawer or something.
"These Days" are the Lord's days. And "I'm not saying" is obviously about how we are all sinners, but through "not saying I'll be true, but I'll try," one can regain his faith to protect him from Satan's trials.
The Velvet Underground, on the other hand, are definitely evil.
Amen
I'm just starting to realize how much I like Nico.
She sounds vaguely foreign, the way I imagine angels sound, since they're from Heaven, and they don't have a normal American accent. Plus, I don't really speak English that well, seeing as I'm a cat and all, so I can just enjoy the music without picking up all the intricacies of the lyrics.
That said, from what I can tell, it's pretty Christian. "Somewhere there's a feather" is obviously about angels. "You need not know the reason why," because it's God.
And "I Keep It with Mine," is obviously about Nico offering to keep my bible with her bible. In the same drawer or something.
"These Days" are the Lord's days. And "I'm not saying" is obviously about how we are all sinners, but through "not saying I'll be true, but I'll try," one can regain his faith to protect him from Satan's trials.
The Velvet Underground, on the other hand, are definitely evil.
Amen
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
"Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise."
Dear God,
Some people think that Thanksgiving commemorates "the beginnings of a mass genocide." Many of those people like to call themselves "historians" or "Native Americans."
But I say you should "be careful for nothing, but in every thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God." (Philippians 4:6)
Try to answer that with some hippie notions about Indians, the Pilgrims (i.e. God's chosen people), and your blah, blah, blah about socialized medicine.
In honor of this holiday, I would like to offer you a Thanksgiving Cat Poem:
Alright. I mean,
Amen
Some people think that Thanksgiving commemorates "the beginnings of a mass genocide." Many of those people like to call themselves "historians" or "Native Americans."
But I say you should "be careful for nothing, but in every thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God." (Philippians 4:6)
Try to answer that with some hippie notions about Indians, the Pilgrims (i.e. God's chosen people), and your blah, blah, blah about socialized medicine.
In honor of this holiday, I would like to offer you a Thanksgiving Cat Poem:
There's a place calledThis piece was inspired by "Thanksgiving Cat Poem," written by Poet Rebecca Strecker who also offers personalized Cat Poems for only $50 a pop on her site, Poems2order. Check it out.
Heaven.
And Cats who are also Christian get to go there to eat tuna straight from the can.
No thanks to Satan.
Kindness is the key to Heaven.
So have a Happy Thannksgivin'.
Alright. I mean,
Amen
Friday, November 20, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
"Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead!"
Dear God,
I really like this music video, because it's about cats:
I hope you like it too. Here are the lyrics, just so you know it's Christian:
Amen
I really like this music video, because it's about cats:
I hope you like it too. Here are the lyrics, just so you know it's Christian:
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?Although I can't run that fast, I really relate to the girl in this song. When I listen to this song, it gives me the same feeling I get when there's a place for me. In Jesus' name I pray,
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction...
Amen
Friday, November 13, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
"For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts."
Dear God,
I've been thinking a lot about death these days with my first 'New York winter' coming up. People make winter in this city sound like its going to be The End of Days (I wish!).
And with thoughts of death, obviously come thoughts about my legacy. Luckily, the good people at Kitty Limericks have just the thing.
They honor dead cats by writing limericks about them. For example, this gem here:
I want mine to be something like:
Anyway, another thing I found out about on the cat-blogosphere these days is that Miss Peach and Mickey just got married!
There's a lot to be said about the importance of traditional marriage in this country, but I think I'll save my breath for another prayer. That said, may you bless Miss Peach and Mickey in their holy union.
Amen
I've been thinking a lot about death these days with my first 'New York winter' coming up. People make winter in this city sound like its going to be The End of Days (I wish!).
And with thoughts of death, obviously come thoughts about my legacy. Luckily, the good people at Kitty Limericks have just the thing.
They honor dead cats by writing limericks about them. For example, this gem here:
Pierre just loved to climb in trees.
He scampered through the branches with ease.
He got kidney stones,
Which hurt down to his bones.
Now he's at the Bridge, climbing the trees.
I want mine to be something like:
There once was a cat named 'Buster'
Who was known for his faith and his muster.
God made him a saint
Without a complaint
And now he will live in the glory of God forever with Jesus Christ, our loving Lord and Savior.
Anyway, another thing I found out about on the cat-blogosphere these days is that Miss Peach and Mickey just got married!
There's a lot to be said about the importance of traditional marriage in this country, but I think I'll save my breath for another prayer. That said, may you bless Miss Peach and Mickey in their holy union.
Amen
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
"Thou shalt have no other gods before me." (The 1st Commandment)
Dear God,
I just found out that Copernicus is a Buddhist.
I consider myself a tolerant Christian, and so I'm just going to send out my prayers in hopes that they will heal him.
I still think he's a good guy. But I hope he sees the light before The End of Times comes around, seeking out cats that haven't found their way to you, O Lord.
Amen
I just found out that Copernicus is a Buddhist.
I consider myself a tolerant Christian, and so I'm just going to send out my prayers in hopes that they will heal him.
I still think he's a good guy. But I hope he sees the light before The End of Times comes around, seeking out cats that haven't found their way to you, O Lord.
Amen
Monday, October 19, 2009
"It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks."
Dear God,
When I was looking through some of my owners' old stuff, I found these pictures of other pets that have been in their life. And I don't like them. For example, take this excuse for a "cat":
1. SAPPHO
This is my mommy's old daughter from back when she was living with Aunt Diana. Sappho is obviously a homosexual.
I think I might be a little more accepting of that if she weren't also short-haired. I'm not a racist or anything. I'm just saying, her coat isn't particularly fluffy, and it makes her look even more like a lesbian.
Jessica's, I mean mommy's, other old pet:
2. ROXY
IS A DOG. I don't even know what to say to that. It just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up. And then I extend my claws. And then I start to hiss.
Last, but not least, is my daddies' old cat from when they were living with Aunt Claire and Aunt Vicky:
3. COPERNICUS
He's okay. Look at him praying. A man after my own faith.
May you strike down the wicked, and raise up your chosen ones to the height of the Lord. And may you name me 'God's Best Cat.' In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen
When I was looking through some of my owners' old stuff, I found these pictures of other pets that have been in their life. And I don't like them. For example, take this excuse for a "cat":
1. SAPPHO
This is my mommy's old daughter from back when she was living with Aunt Diana. Sappho is obviously a homosexual.
I think I might be a little more accepting of that if she weren't also short-haired. I'm not a racist or anything. I'm just saying, her coat isn't particularly fluffy, and it makes her look even more like a lesbian.
Jessica's, I mean mommy's, other old pet:
2. ROXY
IS A DOG. I don't even know what to say to that. It just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up. And then I extend my claws. And then I start to hiss.
Last, but not least, is my daddies' old cat from when they were living with Aunt Claire and Aunt Vicky:
3. COPERNICUS
He's okay. Look at him praying. A man after my own faith.
May you strike down the wicked, and raise up your chosen ones to the height of the Lord. And may you name me 'God's Best Cat.' In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
"Your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions."
Dear God,
Apparently, to dream that you see Moses means "personal gain and a connubial alliance which will be a source of sweet congratulation to yourself."
Well, congratulations, myself.
I've been watching Song of Angels, and now I can't get it out of my head. So, I made my own music video for this great Christian song I've been listening to. Here, let me know what you think, God.
Amen
Apparently, to dream that you see Moses means "personal gain and a connubial alliance which will be a source of sweet congratulation to yourself."
Well, congratulations, myself.
I've been watching Song of Angels, and now I can't get it out of my head. So, I made my own music video for this great Christian song I've been listening to. Here, let me know what you think, God.
Amen
Saturday, October 3, 2009
"A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel."
Dear God,
I don't understand why the humans get so upset when I pee on the bath-mat. I'm not stupid. I know what they're doing in there when they close the door.
They act like they don't go in there ever day to do just that. The mat's usually wet after they come out in the morning--where else would they do it? (Though I have caught Jessica peeing in her own water bowl once!)
Part of the reason I've been using the human-bathroom is that I'm going through a small crisis of identity. Though I've always identified more or less as a cat, I feel like I have trans-animal tendencies. Nothing drastic:
I just want to be more open about the whole thing, i.e. my possible transition into becoming a little more human.
But every time I try to behave more in your image, God, I get shot down. Blessed be your kindness and your gift of patience. In your name I pray that I might one day walk on my hind legs and start talking, and then, who knows?
Maybe I'll get a driver's license and we can finally go on that road trip we've been talking about,
Amen
I don't understand why the humans get so upset when I pee on the bath-mat. I'm not stupid. I know what they're doing in there when they close the door.
They act like they don't go in there ever day to do just that. The mat's usually wet after they come out in the morning--where else would they do it? (Though I have caught Jessica peeing in her own water bowl once!)
Part of the reason I've been using the human-bathroom is that I'm going through a small crisis of identity. Though I've always identified more or less as a cat, I feel like I have trans-animal tendencies. Nothing drastic:
I just want to be more open about the whole thing, i.e. my possible transition into becoming a little more human.
But every time I try to behave more in your image, God, I get shot down. Blessed be your kindness and your gift of patience. In your name I pray that I might one day walk on my hind legs and start talking, and then, who knows?
Maybe I'll get a driver's license and we can finally go on that road trip we've been talking about,
Amen
Friday, September 25, 2009
"And I will smite the winter house with the summer house."
Thursday, September 24, 2009
"Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth."
Dear God,
I think I'm swearing off catnip. I get really worked up and a little crazy, and then I don't really get anything done.
I just effectively spent the past twenty minutes googling my own name. Nothing much came of it, though I did find out that apparently there's another site that people refer to as "Buster's blog" besides this one.
I think they know what they're talking about. And I think what they're talking about is my blog. Except for that last comment. Anyway, I think it's about time that people are talking about the good news in your name O Lord.
Amen
I think I'm swearing off catnip. I get really worked up and a little crazy, and then I don't really get anything done.
I just effectively spent the past twenty minutes googling my own name. Nothing much came of it, though I did find out that apparently there's another site that people refer to as "Buster's blog" besides this one.
I think they know what they're talking about. And I think what they're talking about is my blog. Except for that last comment. Anyway, I think it's about time that people are talking about the good news in your name O Lord.
Amen
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body?"
Dear God,
You know what people don't talk enough about these days. Their political opinions. Here's one.
Something I hate: raw food. People who like raw food are the type of people ruining America. If God wanted you to eat raw things, he wouldn't have invented cooking.
Eating a little bit of grass is understandable. It helps my digestive system. But I'm pretty sure kibble is cooked.
I don't know what johnboy5355's "green juice" refers to, but I'm pretty sure he's not Christian. And it seems like he's really into raw food from his profile.
God, I know you have a plan for us, and I trust in your name, but feel free to sweep away the evil from this Earth already, for God's sake.
Amen
You know what people don't talk enough about these days. Their political opinions. Here's one.
Something I hate: raw food. People who like raw food are the type of people ruining America. If God wanted you to eat raw things, he wouldn't have invented cooking.
Eating a little bit of grass is understandable. It helps my digestive system. But I'm pretty sure kibble is cooked.
I don't know what johnboy5355's "green juice" refers to, but I'm pretty sure he's not Christian. And it seems like he's really into raw food from his profile.
God, I know you have a plan for us, and I trust in your name, but feel free to sweep away the evil from this Earth already, for God's sake.
Amen
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
"I will sweep away both people and animals alike."
Dear God,
I really don't know about this.
I'm offended by the dirty language in the title. I'm offended by their portrayal of Arabs as camels. And I'm definitely offended that for a movie called "Cat Shit One," soon to be repackaged as "Apocalypse Meow" for its American viewers, the majority of the characters aren't even cats;
they're rabbits.
I like this turn in the film industry toward less stereotypical roles for cats, but I'm also fairly sure that this is not Christian. I review this movie in your name, Lord Jesus.
Amen
I really don't know about this.
I'm offended by the dirty language in the title. I'm offended by their portrayal of Arabs as camels. And I'm definitely offended that for a movie called "Cat Shit One," soon to be repackaged as "Apocalypse Meow" for its American viewers, the majority of the characters aren't even cats;
they're rabbits.
I like this turn in the film industry toward less stereotypical roles for cats, but I'm also fairly sure that this is not Christian. I review this movie in your name, Lord Jesus.
Amen
Sunday, September 20, 2009
"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."
Dear God,
I've been thinking a lot about death panels these days, and I'm still not sure if I'm pro or con. If we are to imitate you in every way, Lord, I don't see why we can't decide who lives and who dies based on a physical and a close inspection of the good book.
That's what confuses me the most. Suddenly the republicans are all up in arms about death panels. That seems right up our alley to me.
I have a lot of questions about our national plan for health insurance, and people keep putting them down just because I'm a cat. I guess I have a lot of questions about health in general. I've been looking at this chart:
And I have no idea what a 'Buccal cavity' is. I don't think You would have made such a thing, Lord. I guess ultimately what we should realize is that we are perfect because you made us that way and we don't need health insurance because I don't want to go to the vet, especially if there are going to be poor people there.
Amen
I've been thinking a lot about death panels these days, and I'm still not sure if I'm pro or con. If we are to imitate you in every way, Lord, I don't see why we can't decide who lives and who dies based on a physical and a close inspection of the good book.
That's what confuses me the most. Suddenly the republicans are all up in arms about death panels. That seems right up our alley to me.
I have a lot of questions about our national plan for health insurance, and people keep putting them down just because I'm a cat. I guess I have a lot of questions about health in general. I've been looking at this chart:
And I have no idea what a 'Buccal cavity' is. I don't think You would have made such a thing, Lord. I guess ultimately what we should realize is that we are perfect because you made us that way and we don't need health insurance because I don't want to go to the vet, especially if there are going to be poor people there.
Amen
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
"For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave me drink."
Dear God,
Today, I guest-blogged on The Scalar Kitchen. I'm glad there are others doing your good work.
Speaking of food, MEOOOWWW. MEEEOOWW. MEEOOOOOWWW. I'm hungry. Give me some food.
Amen
Today, I guest-blogged on The Scalar Kitchen. I'm glad there are others doing your good work.
Speaking of food, MEOOOWWW. MEEEOOWW. MEEOOOOOWWW. I'm hungry. Give me some food.
Amen
"They paved paradise and put up a parking lot. Today shalt thou be with me in paradise."
Dear God,
I kind of miss the good old days in Virginia a little.
Amen
I kind of miss the good old days in Virginia a little.
Amen
Sunday, September 6, 2009
"Because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked."
Dear God,
I'm glad to find that I can serve a purpose beyond all my daily-tasks-in-your-name like eating, sleeping, and fending off the sinister demons inhabiting my Brooklyn apartment.
These may not look like much, but they're made of 100% cat hair, and you should know better than anyone that October is approaching and with that the Christmas shopping season.
This year I want all of my presents to have been physically grown from my body. I know it's becoming a catch-phrase, but in these tough economic times...
In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen
I'm glad to find that I can serve a purpose beyond all my daily-tasks-in-your-name like eating, sleeping, and fending off the sinister demons inhabiting my Brooklyn apartment.
These may not look like much, but they're made of 100% cat hair, and you should know better than anyone that October is approaching and with that the Christmas shopping season.
This year I want all of my presents to have been physically grown from my body. I know it's becoming a catch-phrase, but in these tough economic times...
In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
"Who maketh his angels spirits; his ministers a flaming fire."
Dear God,
Today, I had a really embarrassing day. Not only did my daddy and new-mommy-Jessica bathe me, but as soon as I got out, I was so stressed that I pooped on the bathrug. To top that off, they had a party with a bunch of their secular humanist friends, and as I was scrambling up on bed in my special cerebellar hypoplasiac way, everyone laughed at me.
My only solace today was finding this:
I can't understand a single word they are saying, but that's because it's in Angel. Song of Angels is Freddie and Annie Hayler:
I don't know what else to say except thanks. New York is a difficult place, but your song reigns over Heaven and Brooklyn.
Amen
Today, I had a really embarrassing day. Not only did my daddy and new-mommy-Jessica bathe me, but as soon as I got out, I was so stressed that I pooped on the bathrug. To top that off, they had a party with a bunch of their secular humanist friends, and as I was scrambling up on bed in my special cerebellar hypoplasiac way, everyone laughed at me.
My only solace today was finding this:
I can't understand a single word they are saying, but that's because it's in Angel. Song of Angels is Freddie and Annie Hayler:
I don't know what else to say except thanks. New York is a difficult place, but your song reigns over Heaven and Brooklyn.
Amen
Friday, May 22, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
"We are to praise God with dancing"
Dear God,
I'm feeling sad today. I think I'm just going to curl up with one of my gays and watch Center Stage or The Hours or both.
And whatever happened to Sascha Radetsky? Or, I guess, any of these? I'm sorry. What I mean is: I don't care cause they're not Christian.
Amen
I'm feeling sad today. I think I'm just going to curl up with one of my gays and watch Center Stage or The Hours or both.
And whatever happened to Sascha Radetsky? Or, I guess, any of these? I'm sorry. What I mean is: I don't care cause they're not Christian.
Amen
Saturday, April 11, 2009
"None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness."
Dear God,
This is what I imagine sex should look like:
Sometimes I wish I were French. If I were French, I would probably spend all my days on a nude beach with my weird little French friends. The main reason I don't get out very much here is because I don't have any clothes.
Yeah, I'm feeling really uncomfortable with my nakedness these days. I know God made me this way, and I know my body's sacred, but it's for that last reason that I want to treat it like a temple.
Help me to serve you in this way,
Amen
This is what I imagine sex should look like:
Sometimes I wish I were French. If I were French, I would probably spend all my days on a nude beach with my weird little French friends. The main reason I don't get out very much here is because I don't have any clothes.
Yeah, I'm feeling really uncomfortable with my nakedness these days. I know God made me this way, and I know my body's sacred, but it's for that last reason that I want to treat it like a temple.
Help me to serve you in this way,
Amen
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
"it is an abomination"
Dear God,
More like Gay-owa if you ask me.
Although I support the increase in cat adoption that is directly related to the amount of gay marriages in this country, I still can't condone the homosexual act itself. Sure, live together, hold hands, get a cat named after your favorite Golden Girls character (i.e. Blanche), but keep your hands out of each other's women's jeans.
There should really be a screening process at the pound to make sure that other cats with physical disabilities don't get placed into homes like mine. There is a lot of love in here, but let me tell you, it is not God's love.
In my book, there are only 47 states left in the United States of God of America.
I honestly feel like my rights have become a little gayer.
Amen
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints."
Dear God,
Ugh. I can't stop listening to this John Lennon cover of The Ronnettes' "Be My Baby":
For some reason this reminds me of Paul McCartney and how annoying he's been lately, running around claiming he's the "weird" Beatle. "Remember my legacy, guys?"
Not to place judgment, but I think you would agree with me on this one, God.
Amen
Ugh. I can't stop listening to this John Lennon cover of The Ronnettes' "Be My Baby":
For some reason this reminds me of Paul McCartney and how annoying he's been lately, running around claiming he's the "weird" Beatle. "Remember my legacy, guys?"
Not to place judgment, but I think you would agree with me on this one, God.
Amen
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
"lest I come and smite the earth with a curse"
Dear God,
Sorry I didn't post yesterday. After all that partying on Sunday, I was a little hungover.
My imaginary duck friends came over for tea. Me being a cat, I don't really have any friends besides my gay owners and you, God. So it's usually nice when they come over. But this particular occasion went sour. It went something like this:
Indeed, Mr. Duck. I too have always had
a distinct curiosity for Mormonism.
I mean, the story just can't end there.
"Well, I've always been a little curious
about Scientology, myself."
Excuse me, I believe I've lost my
appetite for tea. Good day to you.
a distinct curiosity for Mormonism.
I mean, the story just can't end there.
"Well, I've always been a little curious
about Scientology, myself."
Excuse me, I believe I've lost my
appetite for tea. Good day to you.
Next time, instead of brunch, I'll have to have them over for a baptism.
Then I went and partied all day in the name of the Lord.
Amen
Then I went and partied all day in the name of the Lord.
Amen
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Beelzebub
Dear God,
I went to check out "The Gospel According to St. Matthew" at the library, but it was already checked out, so I got Peter Brook's "The Lord of the Flies" instead.
I don't know how I feel about all those naked boys. I mean, I'm a cat. But if I were on a deserted island with a bunch of other naked-boy-cats, I would certainly want the RULES to be enforced. None of this reverting to the primal state. All that homoeroticism. Just taking off their clothes and meowing around. Savagery.
I just found out this cat I've been seeing at the door sometimes is actually a tomcat. Obviously, I would never have relations before marriage. But think about how close I was to getting AIDS. (Pretty close.)
Oh God. Does this mean I'm bi? ...I mean, we cleaned each other once or twice, but that was it.
I will always serve you in your glory.
Amen
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Poetry
Dear God,
This poem sums up most of my feelings. You and Jesus did a great job when you made Christopher Smart. I wish my sodomite fathers would hold me in an equally divine regard.
--
For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living God duly and daily serving him.
For at the first glance of the glory of god in the east he worships in his way
For this is done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness.
For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of god upon his prayer.
For he rolls upon prank to work it in.
For having done duty and recieved blessing he begins to consider himself
For this he performs in ten degrees.
For the first he looks upon his forepaws to see if they are clean.
For secondly he kicks up behind to clear away there.
For thirdly he works it upon stretch with the forepaws extended.
For fourthly he sharpens his paws by wood.
For Fifthly he washes himself.
For sixthly he rolls upon wash.
For seventhly he fleas himself, that he may not be interrupted upon the beat
For eighthly he rubs himself against a post.
For ninthly he looks up for his instructions.
For tenthly he goes in quest of food.
For having consider'd God and himself he will consider his neighbour.
For if he meets another cat he will kiss her in kindness.
For when he takes his prey he plays with it to give it a chance.
For one mouse in seven escapes by his dallying.
For when his day's work is done his business more properly begins.
For he keeps the Lord's watch in the night against the adversary.
For he counteracts the powers of darkness by his electrical skin and glaring eyes.
For he counteracts the Devil, who is death, by brisking about the life.
For in his morning orisons he loves the sun and the sun loves him.
For he is of the tribe of Tiger.For the Cherub Cat is a term of the Angel Tiger.
For he has the subtlety and hissing of a serpent, which in goodness he suppresses.
For he will not do destruction, if he is well-fed, neither will he spit without provocation.
For he purrs in thankfulness, when God tells him he's a good Cat.
For he is an instrument for the children to learn benevolence upon.
For every house is incomplete without him and a blessing is lacking in the spirit.
For the Lord commanded Moses concerning the cats at the departure of the Children of Israel from Egypt.
For every family had one cat at least in the bag.
For the English Cats are the best in Europe.
For he is the cleanest in the use of his forepaws of any quadruped.
For the dexterity of his defence is an instance of the love of God to him exceedingly.
For he is the quickest to his mark of any creature.
For he is tenacious of his point.For he is a mixture of gravity and waggery.
For he knows that God is his Saviour.
For there is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest.
For there is nothing brisker than his life when in motion.
For he is of the Lord's poor and so indeed is he called by benevolenceperpetually -- Poor Jeoffry! poor Jeoffry! the rat has bit thy throat.
For I bless the name of the Lord Jesus that Jeoffry is better.
For the divine spirit comes about his body to sustain it in complete cat.
For his tongue is exceeding pure so that it has in purity what it wants inmusic.
For he is docile and can learn certain things.
For he can set up with gravity which is patience upon approbation.
For he can fetch and carry, which is patience in employment.
For he can jump over a stick which is patience upon proof positive.
For he can spraggle upon waggle at the word of command.
For he can jump from an eminence into his master's bosom.
For he can catch the cork and toss it again.
For he is hated by the hypocrite and miser.
For the former is afraid of detection.
For the latter refuses the charge.
For he camels his back to bear the first notion of business.
For he is good to think on, if a man would express himself neatly.
For he made a great figure in Egypt for his signal services.
For he killed the Ichneumon-rat very pernicious by land.
For his ears are so acute that they sting again.
For from this proceeds the passing quickness of his attention.
For by stroking of him I have found out electricity.
For I perceived God's light about him both wax and fire.
For the Electrical fire is the spiritual substance, which God sends fromheaven to sustain the bodies both of man and beast.
For God has blessed him in the variety of his movements.
For, tho' he cannot fly, he is an excellent clamberer.
For his motions upon the face of the earth are more than any otherquadruped.
For he can tread to all the measures upon the music.
For he can swim for life.
For he can creep.
This poem sums up most of my feelings. You and Jesus did a great job when you made Christopher Smart. I wish my sodomite fathers would hold me in an equally divine regard.
--
For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living God duly and daily serving him.
For at the first glance of the glory of god in the east he worships in his way
For this is done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness.
For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of god upon his prayer.
For he rolls upon prank to work it in.
For having done duty and recieved blessing he begins to consider himself
For this he performs in ten degrees.
For the first he looks upon his forepaws to see if they are clean.
For secondly he kicks up behind to clear away there.
For thirdly he works it upon stretch with the forepaws extended.
For fourthly he sharpens his paws by wood.
For Fifthly he washes himself.
For sixthly he rolls upon wash.
For seventhly he fleas himself, that he may not be interrupted upon the beat
For eighthly he rubs himself against a post.
For ninthly he looks up for his instructions.
For tenthly he goes in quest of food.
For having consider'd God and himself he will consider his neighbour.
For if he meets another cat he will kiss her in kindness.
For when he takes his prey he plays with it to give it a chance.
For one mouse in seven escapes by his dallying.
For when his day's work is done his business more properly begins.
For he keeps the Lord's watch in the night against the adversary.
For he counteracts the powers of darkness by his electrical skin and glaring eyes.
For he counteracts the Devil, who is death, by brisking about the life.
For in his morning orisons he loves the sun and the sun loves him.
For he is of the tribe of Tiger.For the Cherub Cat is a term of the Angel Tiger.
For he has the subtlety and hissing of a serpent, which in goodness he suppresses.
For he will not do destruction, if he is well-fed, neither will he spit without provocation.
For he purrs in thankfulness, when God tells him he's a good Cat.
For he is an instrument for the children to learn benevolence upon.
For every house is incomplete without him and a blessing is lacking in the spirit.
For the Lord commanded Moses concerning the cats at the departure of the Children of Israel from Egypt.
For every family had one cat at least in the bag.
For the English Cats are the best in Europe.
For he is the cleanest in the use of his forepaws of any quadruped.
For the dexterity of his defence is an instance of the love of God to him exceedingly.
For he is the quickest to his mark of any creature.
For he is tenacious of his point.For he is a mixture of gravity and waggery.
For he knows that God is his Saviour.
For there is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest.
For there is nothing brisker than his life when in motion.
For he is of the Lord's poor and so indeed is he called by benevolenceperpetually -- Poor Jeoffry! poor Jeoffry! the rat has bit thy throat.
For I bless the name of the Lord Jesus that Jeoffry is better.
For the divine spirit comes about his body to sustain it in complete cat.
For his tongue is exceeding pure so that it has in purity what it wants inmusic.
For he is docile and can learn certain things.
For he can set up with gravity which is patience upon approbation.
For he can fetch and carry, which is patience in employment.
For he can jump over a stick which is patience upon proof positive.
For he can spraggle upon waggle at the word of command.
For he can jump from an eminence into his master's bosom.
For he can catch the cork and toss it again.
For he is hated by the hypocrite and miser.
For the former is afraid of detection.
For the latter refuses the charge.
For he camels his back to bear the first notion of business.
For he is good to think on, if a man would express himself neatly.
For he made a great figure in Egypt for his signal services.
For he killed the Ichneumon-rat very pernicious by land.
For his ears are so acute that they sting again.
For from this proceeds the passing quickness of his attention.
For by stroking of him I have found out electricity.
For I perceived God's light about him both wax and fire.
For the Electrical fire is the spiritual substance, which God sends fromheaven to sustain the bodies both of man and beast.
For God has blessed him in the variety of his movements.
For, tho' he cannot fly, he is an excellent clamberer.
For his motions upon the face of the earth are more than any otherquadruped.
For he can tread to all the measures upon the music.
For he can swim for life.
For he can creep.
-- Christopher Smart
"Each society is a heaven in a smaller form, and each angel in the smallest form"
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
In the beginning
Dear God,
I've noticed that there are a lot of blogs about cats and by cats. But none of those blogs speak in your name, dear Lord. That is why I know my blog will be blessed.
Also I have a lot to say. I am a good Christian--though I live in a house of sin. My two daddies are in an interracial gay marriage. But I know you put me here for a reason.
You made me special, Lord, and I want to share my uniqueness with the world. I have cerebral palsy. (Actually, for cats, it's called: cerebellar hypoplasia.) Basically I fall down a lot.
So I'm going to post videos of myself walking I think. What else. I don't know. I have so many doubts. Help me to serve you in this way.
Amen
I've noticed that there are a lot of blogs about cats and by cats. But none of those blogs speak in your name, dear Lord. That is why I know my blog will be blessed.
Also I have a lot to say. I am a good Christian--though I live in a house of sin. My two daddies are in an interracial gay marriage. But I know you put me here for a reason.
You made me special, Lord, and I want to share my uniqueness with the world. I have cerebral palsy. (Actually, for cats, it's called: cerebellar hypoplasia.) Basically I fall down a lot.
So I'm going to post videos of myself walking I think. What else. I don't know. I have so many doubts. Help me to serve you in this way.
Amen
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